Uncovering pieces of myself: the ability to adapt and unlearn
Also, if it’s not obvious to you, dear reader, I am not “one of the guys”
Have you ever felt stunned when asking for the obvious thing and the person across from you doesn’t want to understand or is playing the “this is how the world works” card?
Today, was such a day and interaction for me. Half an hour ago, while I was chatting in a Whatsapp chat with digital nomads about places we travel, plans, etc — one of them, commented starting with “you guys” and it hit me. We are a group chat of people, who on earth are those guys??
I replied to that person inviting them to use more inclusive language than just guys even if it’s considered gender-neutral in the US/Canada, giving them also options of ideas of how they could call others. Their reply was infuriating…
Whenever someone finishes their sentence with “no offense intended”, it ends up being more offensive than usual.
Where does the term “guys” come from?
According to an article in the Insider, the term comes from Guy Fawkes, a 17th-century participant in the failed 1605 Gunpowder Plot (and the inspiration behind those creepy, mustachioed, “V for Vendetta” masks that Anonymous wears).
Fawkes was a Catholic during a time of great religious conflict and persecution in England. He was also a member of a group of thirteen conspirators who wanted to restore a Catholic monarch to the throne. Their idea was to blow up Parliament with barrels of gunpowder to kill the Protestant King James I, the Privy Council, and the bishops of the Church of England.
Fawkes was not the leader of the group. He’s remembered because, on November 5, 1605, he got caught in the basement of Parliament with enough gunpowder to level the building (authorities had been searching the building after receiving an anonymous tip).
Things ended pretty badly for Fawkes. He was most likely horrifically tortured on the rack. He managed to escape a grisly execution by jumping off the scaffold and breaking his neck. For centuries, England has celebrated the foiling of the plot by burning effigies of Fawkes and other figures on November 5. Those likenesses became known as “guys.” According to the Boston Globe, the term morphed into a way to describe creepy people.
So, after knowing this, I wonder if you would like to be referred to as “guys”?
Using “you guys” to refer to others
Apparently, as that person from my earlier interaction said, the term “you guys” is considered a casual, laid-back way of greeting a group of several people in countries such as the US/Canada/UK, and Australia. However, those are just 4 countries and the world isn’t only them.
“You guys” isn’t welcome by people who don’t identify as male and I assume it’s common when someone politely asks you not to use it, then don’t use it and find an alternative greeting.
Unlearning and adapting?
In the above interaction, what ticked me the most, wasn’t the “you guys”; admittedly, I have been hearing it all my life, in films, series, when traveling, and in all the mixed communities I am part of.
What pissed me off, was that person defending their right to use it instead of being open and curious to unlearning and hopefully, adapting to something new.
Because, if you aren’t able to unlearn what society has taught you all your life and become a better human being, why are you waking up every morning?
