Uncovering Pieces of Myself: Finding My Community
Or finding the courage to speak up and shape the one I love.
According to Google, epiphany is a moment of sudden and great revelation or realization. I don’t think I had that or maybe I did. Recently, I’ve been checking the communities I am part of and have arrived at the “epiphany” or great revelation that some of them aren’t very diverse in terms of gender, race, socioeconomic background, education, etc.
It seems like I am part of a few online communities where the majority of the members would fit in the white cis-gender non-queer category, even though I identify as a non-binary pansexual person. And yes, if pansexual isn’t in your dictionary, it’s queer.
How do I find my community?
Is it hidden somewhere waiting to be found similarly to going on a treasure hunt? Does it even exist?
Or am I the only non-binary pansexual person I know? And if I am the only one I know of, how do I connect with more of them?
Here, I could add a paragraph about the importance of being part of a community, yadda, yadda, yadda. However, if you’ve arrived at this article, I guess you might already know/experienced it or be searching for your own.
So, how do I go about finding a community that fits me?
Let’s set a few parameters first. This community:
- Can be online or offline. Right now, I am looking for an online one.
- Can be a paid community.
- Is a safe space for non-binary, queer people.
- No topic is taboo as long as it’s discussed from a non-judgemental point of view.
In my mind right now, there are 2 online communities I am a member of that fit those parameters. One of them is a society of digital nomads and the other is a digital community for location-independent women. Out of those two, the digital nomad society feels more non-binary friendly.
When talking about the digital community for location-independent women, three days ago, I renewed my subscription to stay a member for one more year. I wasn’t sure until the last moment if I will do it.
Why did I stay?
At first, I thought it was FOMO. Then, I realized that this community was the first one I joined online, have loved being a member of it, and have many friends whom I haven’t met yet in real life.:D
Ultimately I consider them to be the “home” of my online journey.
Recently though it feels lonely. I have been meaning to ask for a while if we can start having conversations about queer topics but it seems like I am the only one I’ll be needing them. An assumption, I know…
I don’t think I am the only queer person in this community, well, I hope not.
What happens if I am?
If I am the only queer person in this community, how do I proceed? Do I stay or do I go? Do I ask to make the community more queer-friendly so that other queer women can join? Am I allowed to make suggestions on what can be changed to make this community more queer-friendly? Are these suggestions gonna be implemented?
Many questions are coming up and this feels like a humongous task for one person.
What’s next?
Having thought through how to find my community, I am not looking for a new community to join. I am looking for the courage to speak up and ask to make the community I am part of and love more diverse, and more inclusive in terms of queer topics, discussions, tea-times, and books authored by queer writers.
Is that all? You might ask.
For now, I guess the answer is yes.
