It’s Not Just Covid
it’s way more than that.
Today I was reading an article by Jessica Wildfire “Young Healthy People are Dropping Dead from Covid” and I remembered last Xmas; most of my friends and acquaintances were posting their positive covid results on IG like they were badges of honor. When I talked with a few of my friends about how I haven’t caught covid yet, they kept joking about how I am a covid-unicorn/covid-virgin (who knew such terms existed?) following that thought with “Lyda, you need to live your life a little, go out, have fun, it’s just covid”.
It’s just Covid.
Well, it is not just Covid. And it’s not about going through Covid and then, going on with living your life. It’s what it leaves behind; the memory fog, the bouts of depression, the restlessness, the shortness of breath, the unwillingness to keep on going, or even stand up from your bed and make a few steps; they are parting gifts.
I’ve been through a few of them without having covid.
- As a person living with asthmatic chronic bronchitis, I do know what it means to experience shortness of breath more times than you can count; to have to sit down and place my head between my legs trying to find my breath and bring some air in my lungs. I don’t want to know how worse can this become if I catch covid.
- Being diagnosed recently with ADHD, 4 little letters finally gave me the answer I’ve been looking for most of my adolescence and adult life up to now.
Imagine you are standing up to fetch something to eat, and on your way to the kitchen, you remember you need to do some laundry, arrive at the washing machine, and then remember that you haven’t yet bought detergent and leaving the house to go buy it. Fast forward a few hours later, you realize your stomach makes an annoying sound and you remember you haven’t eaten since breakfast or not at all.
Yes, it might not be the same as memory fog however, again, I don’t want to know how worse my memory will be if I catch covid.
- Since the pandemic started, I have experienced a boom of online work and for the first 1.5 years, I kept on working and working and working and working, cause finally, I had so many clients, and everyone was asking for my services. Until a lovely morning, when I realized I felt burned out and have been feeling like that for a while now. I did try to count them, I only remember 1 in the summer of 2021 and 2 in the first 3 months of 2022. The restlessness became my second nature, a way to identify if I am going through yet another burnout. So no, I don’t want to know how worse my body will suffer with restlessness if I catch covid.
- And we arrive at the bouts of depression coupled with the unwillingness to keep on going… As you may or may not know, I have been through 2 battles with depression. The first one lasted 5 months, where I willingly locked myself in the house and was leaving only once per week to do grocery shopping. The second one lasted a month only because by then I felt like a veteran and identified my symptoms early and asked for help. Those 2 periods of my life were two of the hardest I ever had to go through and the loneliest. Truth be told, depression hasn’t left my side. I see it, walking next to me, ready to swallow me again if I let it. Hell no, I don’t want to know where I will end up if depression swallows me because I caught covid.
Having been through those symptoms, long before covid ever arrived on our doorstep, I can tell you it’s not worth it. It’s not worth it catching covid so that you can showcase the positive result on your IG as a badge of honor, and then go through all these symptoms and possibly many more so that you can be one of many who went out and “lived their life”.
I believe we need to redefine what “living your life” truly means. It’s not about endangering everybody, putting people in isolation, going mask-less to events, having fun because we can, and forgetting that we don’t live alone on this planet, this continent, this region, this country, this neighborhood, even this house.
For me, it is about respecting ourselves, and others around us. Realizing that only together we can get through this covid era while living a life that doesn’t endanger everyone. Impossible, I know…
But, I truly hope that we will make it possible!
